Dear Doctors, Nurses and ER Workers,
While there are times I may come to you because I'm in some sort of a mental crisis, there are also times where I will come because something physically is wrong. And when something is physically wrong please treat me without viewing me through the lens of my mental illness and psychiatric history. When you have to draw blood or take my blood pressure and you manage to see one of my scars from my serious struggle with self-harm in the past, please do not ask about them unless you absolutely have to. And if you do ask and I answer that the scars are old, please don't argue with me. Yes I have scars and lots of them. Yes I have self harmed in the past. Yes I have an extensive psychiatric history. But am I here because I'm at risk for hurting myself? No. I'm here for a legitimate medical issue and would like to be treated as such and not through the filter of my psychiatric diagnosis. Please don't brush my legitimate medical concerns off for anxiety simply because I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I've had anxiety long enough to know what is anxiety and what is not. If it was anxiety, I would know what to do and wouldn't be here right now. Please treat me equally and look past the mental health portion of my history just so that you can give me the proper care and treatment I deserve.
Medical professionals, I see it when you look at me like you think I'm doing this for attention. I hear your voices change when you find out about my mental illness. I see you whispering to other staff about how I'm just another nutcase looking for attention. I see it. I hear it. And I'm not okay with it. Mental illness does not erase or minimize the physical suffering I am experiencing. Just because someone is suffering with cancer or diabetes, doesn't lead you to ignore or minimize their health issues, so why should it minimize mine?
My scars are my past. My scars are reminders of where I've been and how far I've come. My scars are a part of me I will probably have forever. And that's okay with me. I understand it and hope that you will too. Please take the time to educate yourself about mental illness and how it presents and please realize that while I do have a lot of emotional pain, I experience physical pain too.
Please do not include the suicide hotline on every one of my discharge summaries because I have a history of mental health disorders. Please do not consider me to be a threat to myself or anyone else just because I may have been in the past. When you do this, it makes me feel that my suffering is less or not as important as someone who doesn't have the mental health past like I do. I understand that you may think this is your way to help, but it doesn't help. If you are truly concerned about my mental state and my mental health, ask about my current treatment and if I'm seeing a therapist or psychiatrist. Treat me like a real person, not just a diagnosis. Because that is what I am..... a person. A person who has a mental health diagnosis but is NOT the diagnosis. Just like a person with cancer is not cancer.
I am a human being with value and worth. I deserve to be treated fairly and for my concerns to be treated seriously. Please be sure to remember this the next time you see me or any other person with a mental health condition.
Sincerely,
Kimberly
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