Anger Letters #3

 This is a letter I wrote to my perpetrator of the sexual trauma.

Dear perpetrator,

    You have caused irreparable damage. You stole my innocence. You damaged me. You broke me even more than I was already broken. You took my vulnerability and destroyed it. You took advantage of me, for your own pleasure. 
    While I understand that you were just re-enacting your trauma, that doesn't take away your responsibility. It isn't an excuse for all the hurt you've caused. You hurt me and hurt me bad. You hurt the child who didn't know better. You used the fact that I couldn't say no and ran with it. You used the fact that I couldn't use my voice against me. You have kind of held me hostage to your wants and desires.  You took full advantage of me, a young child who couldn't stand up for herself.
    You used the living situation I had against me. You took the fact that my parents were clueless and manipulated me and led us both to manipulate my parents, covering your ass and your actions.You left me vulnerable to future hurt by other people. You caused my suffering. You caused my hurt. You caused my shame. You. And only you. And you need to face reality and own up to the shit you put me through. It won't fix or change my suffering though. That damage is irreversible. And it is your fault and your responsibility. You hurt me. And that fact will never change. I hope one day you come to realize this. 
                ~ Kimberly

To explain this next letter, I knew my perpetrator had had sexual trauma of his own before he abused me. So this letter is to the person that hurt my perpetrator.

To the person who hurt my perpetrator:

    You don't realize how much damage you have caused by hurting my perpetrator. You are the reason why I had to suffer through what I did. You started a chain reaction. You hurt my perpetrator who then went and re-enacted everything you to him and hurt me and multiple other children. You caused that plain, that hurt, that torture. It's your fault that he led to doing the things he did. You are the reason I had to suffer. How horrible of a person you are to do that to another person. You are sick in the head. He was innocent and you took that away from him. You caused a tremendous amount of pain that he didn't know how to show others than to hurt other children. You started it. So many children had to suffer because of you. You are a child abuser and you made him one. He forwarded what you did to me. I have had to suffer because of your actions. Your actions! It's your fault!
    I wish you could understand and realize everything that's happened because of what you did. You were selfish, trying to meet your needs on someone else. I mean for crying out loud. And you caused so much more pain and damage than you could have ever thought or imagined. I hope you get what you deserve and have to feel the pain that you have caused so many others. You are a shitty person and deserve to rot in hell. 
    ~Kimberly