I am writing this post not to single people out or attack people and I don't intend on naming names or organizations or books or anything like that. There is just a lot on my mind that I need to write out for others to read and see. Hopefully this will be educational and help people understand where I come from.
In the past several months, I have heard and received many comments from people, more so from Christians than anything else. These comments and remarks generally show a lack of knowledge in general about mental illness and while not intended to be are hurtful and frustrating for me to receive. So in this post I will go over a number of comments I have received and my personal responses to them that aim to educate those who may have made them in the past and those who may make them in the future. While I don't claim to be an expert on being a Christian or on mental illness in general, I am an expert on my own mental illness.
The first comment I will go over is one that can be stated in many forms. These can include things like "you just need to pray more" or "you just need to read your Bible more" or "you need to do a bible study on your problem and have God lead you to the solution". All of these ignore multiple pieces of information. The first is that mental illness is a physical disorder characterized by physical changes in the brain. Yes it is a brain disorder, a mental disorder, AKA a disease of the brain. This makes it just as real as cancer, heart disease, diabetes. I have never heard anyone go to someone who has cancer or diabetes and tell them "you just need to ______ more" as if it is a total solution to the problem. I am not discrediting the fact that bible study, bible reading and prayer can all be helpful things in the process of dealing with any illness or injury. BUT this does not mean that there are other things that are part of the process in dealing with mental illness.
The second comment I have received is that I just need to forgive and all my problems will go away. This can also be accompanied by comments like "you are holding on to the past and the hurt and by forgiving you can just move on". Again, forgiveness is something that needs to happen eventually and is part of the healing process. However, to state that forgiveness solves all problems ignores the reality that is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Again, this is a physical change in the brain where the brain is put on high alert constantly and is always in the flight/fight/freeze mode. This is absolutely and completely exhausting! PTSD includes hypervigilance related to the flight/fight/freeze response, flashbacks, nightmares, memories, all of which are NOT chosen. I do not choose to have this. It is a physical change in my brain due to toxic stress I went through while I was growing up. My brain developed differently because of the environment I grew up in. This is not something I chose, nor something I can control. Forgiveness can help the process but when you are reminded of the hurt over and over again not by your choice it is an ongoing and exhausting process and one that not everybody is ready to take on right away.
The third comment is related to the first. It's the comment of "just trust God and you won't have anxiety". Again anxiety is a physical response to stimuli in the environment or even to nothing at all. I cannot choose if and when I have a panic attack. I cannot choose whether my brain runs on overdrive. Sometimes my panic attacks will come out of nowhere and sometimes they have a trigger. Trusting God is something that everyone needs to do in their life. However, this does not eliminate the physical reaction that is anxiety.
The fourth comment is one that really bothers me. This is one where it says things like "suicidal thoughts are a sin" or even "mental illness is based on some sin you have in your life". This means that mental illness and suicidal thoughts are a choice. I am here to say that they are NOT. I don't choose to think the way I do. If I could choose to not have the thoughts, trust me I would. If I could choose to not have a mental illness, trust me I would. Suicidal thoughts are something I can choose to act on or choose not to act on. Sometimes the thoughts are so strong it takes everything I have in me to keep myself safe from harm. Sometimes the thoughts are just passing, needing to be acknowledged that they are there and then moved on from. I have learned how to deal with them the best I can. But this is not something I chose.
The next comment is "if you only have enough faith in God, He will heal you" or something similar. God can choose to heal me just like He has chosen to allow this in my life. I believe that God can heal me but I also believe that He is sovereign and has total control of my life and everything else in the universe and that means that He can choose to heal me or He can choose not to. He has a reason that this is in my life and He has promised He will use this for good.
Comment number 6 is something along the lines of "why don't you try God's way instead of man's way" and this comment usually refers to the use of psychiatric medications and therapy. There are many that believe that using psychiatric medications is wrong and that the only therapy that Christians should ever receive is biblical or pastoral counseling. Again this is not to discredit biblical or pastoral counseling. But people with severe mental illnesses need people with certifications and understandings of the mental illnesses and what therapies are good to treat them. These include trainings in therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy or EMDR. All of these therapies require special training and certifications and many biblical and pastoral counselors lack these certifications. God has allowed medicine to be created to be used to help people. Telling people not to take their psychiatric medication is just like telling people not to take chemo for cancer or insulin for diabetes. If it weren't for the medication I am currently on, I would not be a functional human being. I would be confined to my house, to my room, to my bed. I would have constant anxiety and depression with no relief. My medications are NOT a total fix and are not "happy pills" as many may think. My medications make my life work and make me a productive person. The therapies I go through are far from easy but are specifically designed for my mental illnesses and help me to deal with the struggles that come with the illnesses. They help me learn to cope and handle life's challenges which I can't do like people without mental illness because of the physical changes in my brain. So instead of viewing medication and therapy as man's way, let's recognize it for what it is - a provision from God that allows people with mental illness to get the help they need.
The last comment I will go over is one that isn't really related to Christianity but is one that I have heard many times. This comment is one where people state that I will "grow out of" my mental illness and that it's just a part of adolescence. Again, going back to my first point. Mental illness is a physical change in my brain and is not something I will grow out of. It is something that with the right treatment and hard work in therapy, I may be able to learn to live with and not have it be completely debilitating but it is not something I will simply grow out of.
To close this post, I am going to review what Chonda Pierce said at the event I saw her at this past Friday. She shared her experience in a psychiatric hospital in group therapy. Everyone was given their chance to share why they were there, how they were feeling and any struggles they wanted to talk about. Once they were finished, the response was "thank you for sharing". Her comment was "Isn't this what the church is supposed to look like?" where we thank people for telling us their struggles and hardships and accepting them for what they are and then thanking them for being open about it. We as Christians are to care for the brokenhearted, not fix them. So let's learn about mental illness and make sure what we say is helpful, not hurtful and takes into consideration the reality of the physical component as well as the mental, emotional and spiritual components of mental illness.
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