Triggers

I've lived with mental illness for most of my life. You would think I'd have everything figured out by now, right? Unfortunately not. Mental illness is one of those things where you can learn a lot about it and about yourself during treatment and make all these strides and progress and think everything is fine. Until that one thing happens. That right set of circumstances comes together that brings everything back. We call this a trigger. 

Triggers are the things that spark our symptoms of our mental illness. For some people it is the time of the year. This is true for people with Seasonal Affective Disorder, which means that they struggle with more intense depression during the winter months. Other people the time of the year can include things like anniversaries or holidays. Triggers can also be related to specific people. Sometimes there is a specific person in someone's life that triggers symptoms of mental illness. Places are another thing that can be a trigger for people. When I think of places being triggers, I think of bars to alcoholics. Bars are triggering places to alcoholics because it makes them want to drink no matter how long they have been sober. Words and actions of other people can be triggers for some people. Specific situations can be triggers for people. Objects can be triggers. There are so many things that can be triggers for people. But every person has their own set of triggers based on their specific experiences with mental illness. 

One of the first things that someone has to do when they are diagnosed with a mental illness is identify their triggers. This is done through self-evaluation and sometimes through the help of a therapist or psychiatrist about what kinds of things bring symptoms on. The first thing that is evaluated is why a person is seeking help or treatment in the first place. What symptoms are bothersome and what causes those symptoms? Once these are identified, figuring out triggers is much easier. 

Let me clarify something here. Trigger is not a catch-all word that a person can use for everything that may upset them. Just because something upsets you doesn't mean it is a trigger. A trigger must spark symptoms of mental illness. This is something that not everyone understands. 

Once triggers are identified, the general next step is to identify thoughts and feelings that follow those triggers. This is crucial to being able to understand and overcome a trigger. Knowing where the trigger leads can guide the therapeutic process. It shows what thoughts and feelings need to be addressed. For example, if being in a crowd is a trigger examining the thoughts and feelings it leads to can help address the trigger. So the thoughts that could come with being in a crowd would be like "I can't escape" or "I'm in danger" and then the feelings that would go along with that are anxious, vulnerable, and frantic. Using these can help identify that a person may struggle with being in a crowd because they feel like they always need to have an escape plan. Having this knowledge ultimately can lead a therapist to helping someone identify what is driving those thoughts and feelings and thus driving that trigger. Addressing the core issue behind the trigger can ultimately lead to it not becoming a trigger any more. 

Triggers are something though that can catch you when you least expect them, especially when you have PTSD. Triggers play a big role in PTSD because a variety of things can trigger the past trauma. And sometimes, you don't know what your triggers are until they happen. So part of the struggle with PTSD is discovering triggers and also dealing with the traumas in a way that makes them less debilitating so that when a trigger does happen, it's not as major of a reaction. 

One of the biggest treatments for PTSD that can help with specific triggers is EMDR or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy. In this therapy, eye movement or sensations back and forth using something like vibrating paddles are used to help work through the memory and desensitize the brain to it while also reprocess it. Essentially what it's doing is bringing down the intensity of the triggers and filing the trauma into a different part of the brain. It is very effective for PTSD. 

Now, if I relate this to myself personally, I have done a lot of trauma work and have decreased my triggers a lot but there are still some there. One of my biggest triggers still is the sight of a paint stick especially in relation to any situation that I would find threatening. We've been working on this in therapy and it's gotten better but it's still there. I also have just recently learned of a couple triggers that I discovered through an argument that I had with a friend. When they waved their finger in my face, that was a huge trigger for me and brought a lot back because that is what my father did to me so many times. My PTSD is generally well controlled so to get overthrown with memories and feelings like that is overwhelming. So it's going to be important for me to process the trigger and work through the results of that trigger in therapy and keep moving forward in my recovery. 

Living with mental illness is a journey and like my blog title says, a never ending battle. But it is one I determine to see myself succeed in.