The New Year

Posted on January 6, 2016

I could have posted this a few days ago but I decided to wait. Last year was one of the toughest years I've ever had. I was hospitalized 12 times for mental health issues and twice for physical issues that were related to my mental health issues. Total of 7 different hospitals. It a whirlwind of bouncing in and out of the hospital and trying to keep myself out of the hospital for as long as possible. I lost some really close friends and almost lost my job. I've struggled financially all year. I spoke to my parents for the first time in 2 1/2 years. Then cut off communication with them again because it was just too much for me to handle. I had 3 suicide attempts, 2 of which ended me up in the hospital for multiple days and included very close calls. I made new friends through my hospital stays and my involvement in different things. I have made a little progress with school but not as much as was originally planned.  I got on disability on my first try. It was a long and very hard year. I feel that a lot has changed since the beginning of last year, some good and some bad. I'm learning to live with and handle my mental illness. I'm learning how to advocate for myself. I'm discovering who I am again and hoping to keep growing and learning every day. I have dreams for life but could not imagine this is where I would be right now.
This year I hope things will be different. I hope things will change and I will advocate for that as much as possible. I want to let other people kno they are not alone in their struggle. I want to make a difference. We will see what this new year brings.