Self-Compassion Letters #1

When I was at River Oaks, I had to write multiple self-compassion letters in response to the different trauma experiences in my life. 

This first letter is in response to everything that happened with Bob Jones. 

Dear Kimberly,

I'm sure you are hurting after everything that has happened. You're feeling shocked and abandoned by the people who were supposed to love you. You feel alone, separated from all your peers. You feel like the blanket has been pulled out from under you, by the people who should have been the ones that cared the most. I know your faith has been shaken and you aren't sure where to turn or who to trust. I know you have been traumatized by what has happened. I want to validate all that you are feeling and thinking. It is okay to feel everything you are feeling. There is nothing wrong with you. This is normal and acceptable. You are a person who deserves stability and love. You did not deserve anything that happened to you. You deserve people in your life who accept you for who you are and encourage you. You can get through this and you will get through this. Just take things one step at a time. Your life is meaningful and you are worthy to be treated with love and compassion. You matter and your life matters. You are valuable and have great things to offer the world. You will get through this because you are stronger than you think you are. Things can and will get better. You can do this and don't believe that you can't. I care about you and have the best hopes for you. Keep pushing forward and you can do whatever you set your mind to.

Sincerely,
Kimberly

This second one is one I wrote in response to the introduction to my sexual trauma. My therapist challenged me to write a letter of things I think God would (or could) say to me. It may be a little controversial. 

Dear Kimberly,

I know that right now you are experiencing a great deal of pain from what has happened to you. I see your fear in the midst of this and want you to know that I'm here, right here, never leaving your side. I see your confusion about what is going on and how you aren't sure what to do. This is a very confusing situation and I'm here for you within it. This is not something you could have controlled. You are a child and I hold My children within My hands. You have worth, simply because you are My child. I understand how you feel the need to hide it so no one knows. You don't have to carry the shame that comes with this. You are not at fault here. You have been hurt by others and what they did was wrong. I am here to help you work through this. You are not alone. I know you think that you have now lost your innocence but I want to tell you that you are still innocent in My eyes. The journey ahead may be tough but I will be right here through it. You have a purpose for your life and one day you will do great things. I love you and want the best for your life. I don't blame you for this and don't want you to blame yourself either. You matter and I hold you, your tears, and your fears in the palm of My hands. Please know and rest in my love for you. You can and will get through this.

Love,
God

This one is a short one that I wrote in response to what I call the bead incident (part of the physical abuse).

Kimberly,

I want to start by saying that you and your brother deserve better. You should never have had to go through what you went through. You should have had a family who cared about building you up, not tearing you down. Families should love you and support you. You should not have had to live in fear all the time. Your mother was wrong in the way she treated you. Instead, you should have had the ability to play without the fear of retribution. You are such a strong person and you don't need the family you were given. You have so many people who love and care about you and treat you like you should be treated. You were an innocent child and you never should have had to live the horror you did. You are a survivor. Remember that. 

Sincerely,
Kimberly

This fourth one is another short one I wrote in response to the incident that happened on my 12th birthday. 

Dear Kimberly,

I want you to know how much you matter. You have so much worth and it's not dependent on anything you have or have not done. You should have mattered more to your parents than any friend. You matter so much more than your parents ever thought. You're importance matters. You deserve so much better treatment than you got. I want you to know that you have survived so much, more than you should've had to. You are such a kind, loving person in spite of what you've lived through. You are a wonderful friend who cares so much about the people around you. You have friends who love you and you can create your own family, because yours was trash. Keep these people in mind as you move through life and recovery. You are a survivor. 

Sincerely,
Kimberly