So just to give some background, my dad posted a comment on one of my posts and then deleted it. I have attached pictures of the comment. This is my response to that comment.
Dear Dad,
It's nice to hear that you have been paying attention to what I write. Is that because you're paranoid that the truth is coming out about your deplorable treatment of your children? Or maybe you are lonely and miserable and need someone to take it out on. Last I heard, you couldn't keep a partner or friends since Mom died. Me, on the other hand, am supported by many many people, too many to count. I have a great support system, one I've built in spite of you. I've made a good life for myself, without you in it.
Let's do some fact checks though just for fun.
1) We can start with the abuse. I hope you realize that by writing the comment itself, it shows you to be an abusive parent. Not only was the way you treated me abusive, you treated me like I was less than a human being. Ever heard of gaslighting? Maybe you should look it up. It's a tactic that is considered emotional abuse and your comment did just that. You incriminate yourself and you left it for the world to see. Just wanted to point that out. I'm a mandated reporter now and if me or any of my coworkers saw even half of what you did to me, we would have to report it BY LAW! In addition to that, every professional clinician I've ever gone to (you know the kind that are licensed, have had to have extensive training in order to deserve and maintain that) has determined that what you did to me was abuse. Some of the best trauma professionals in the country have identified it as abuse, and not just one form of it either (you've covered physical and emotional abuse, existential abuse, and neglect and I'm sure that's not all). One therapist who has been treating trauma for over 20 years even called it psychological torture. So I'm pretty sure that it's not all in my head or that I'm making it up.
Oh, and the only reason that it was "never proven", that you desperately hold on to, was because you scared me into fear so intense that I only opened up about it once until I hit high school which was when it was reported for the first time. And the only reason it was never proven was because by the time I got brave enough to say something, it was 3 years after the physical abuse ended so there wasn't anything that could be proven. But the emotional abuse was clearly there and SO many people saw it. Even at the first hospital I went to, staff there identified what you were doing as abuse, but when you found that out, you were so insecure that you had to go hunt that person down to try to get them in trouble in some way. But people saw it, trust me they did. My teachers at school knew I had a rough home life without me saying a word, just by identifying my behavior and their interactions with you. Many friends and their parents saw it, just didn't speak up, to you at least. So no, DSS was never able to "prove it" but just because you weren't caught doesn't mean it didn't happen.
2) I know you have missed most of my recent medical care, you know maybe because you weren't there, but my RA diagnosis was proven by different tests and x-rays done. I'm pretty sure you can't fake arthritis in your toes, or your wrist which has been shown in my x-rays. So nope, not making it up.
3) My mental health obviously doesn't matter to you, or you would have never written that comment. So I'm not going to even bother filling you in. You wouldn't care even if I tried.
4) Oh, Bob Jones. I love how you say you "shipped" me off. Pretty sure that indicates that you were trying to get rid of me. And while I've already written what happened out in detail in another post which I'm sure you've read, let's review some facts here. First, I didn't get kicked out because of not being able to follow dorm rules. Technically, it wasn't even a disciplinary removal. It is listed on my transcript as "Involuntary Withdrawal" and the reason behind it was my mental health struggles, namely my suicide attempt. Which they have a distorted view of mental health and I'm not the only one who can to attest that. Even people that I've met in other states know of the university and know it's reputation and what they teach. So, no I didn't get kicked out because I couldn't follow dorm rules. I could go into more detail here but I'll just let you read what happened and let that truth sink in.
5) Yes, I did total the car you bought me, but let's insert some facts here. First, it wasn't because I didn't take care of the car. It was because of a car accident. And before you continue, let me just add that you, mom and Paul taught me how to drive. So most of what I learned when it comes to driving, came from what y'all taught me.
6) Thumper. Now this is an easy one to fact check because a friend also was there when it happened. Thumper started having repeated seizures, so much so that seizure medicine couldn't stop them. He couldn't control his bowels. He cried like I've never heard before. He was suffering. So I did the compassionate thing and put him down. Oh and the vet who evaluated him said it was most likely a brain tumor considering his breed and age and such. Pretty sure I can't cause a brain tumor and that doesn't come from fleas. Also, I've got three pets of my own now who all adore me (all of which I've had for at least a year) and are well taken care of. One of them I've had since she was 4 weeks old. Oh, and I foster kittens for a local rescue. Pretty sure none of that would be possible if I was a horrible pet owner. Just saying.
7) Just for the record, I have ALWAYS blamed both of you for the abuse, because you were both guilty.
8) I'm not going to deny and say that I've not gained weight but there is a reason behind it. I have an eating disorder and no, it's not binge eating disorder like you and mom made up when you tried to get custody of me. And my therapists and I identified that the cause of it was the abuse that you put me through. It's intricately intertwined with my trauma. Pretty sure y'all were the ones who taught me my eating habits. Again just saying. Also, my hygiene is fine. I could go into details but I won't because you don't need to or deserve to know it.
9) Ah, the facilities. If only you knew the real story. But I will say, I haven't burned any bridges. All the treatment facilities I've been to will accept me if I ever need them again. Including one of the top trauma programs in the country.
10) Last but not least, I've gone and got help. Help I needed only because of the damage you did. I'm stable now. But yet look at the one who is throwing darts. Maybe YOU should get help. Ever considered that?
I can assure you dad, that I will never be like you and I never want to be. I want to be a person who actually cares about others and their feelings. Who cares about children and their feelings. In case you forgot, I'm in graduate school now working on my Master's in Social Work. I plan on using it to help other people who are in need, who are recovering abuse victims who just need someone to hear them out, give them a chance. Things I didn't get right away. But unlike you, I'm caring. I'm empathetic. I'm helpful. I'm compassionate. Qualities you don't possess nor did you teach me.
I can confidently assure you that your genes will not be passed on. The cycle ends here. Bridges have been burned. Permanently. I hope I never hear from you again.
She's not telling the truth at all.... First of all I did not delete what I posted.... Why would I write that just to delete it? Makes no sense at all.. She is a liar Beth and will always be one... She has issues with not being honest and tried to ruin her late Mom and my life with her fake accusations!!! She has issues that is way beyond what her Mom and I could ever control... She is very convincing to people and sucks them in to her fake issues to make her late Mom, myself, and even her brother look like we were the bad people when in turn she was lazy, would not help with doing chores, and her hygene was awful... She would not shower, left her nasty feminine pads in the trash pale in the bathroom and just let the dogs dig in it.. Gross!! We would find them all over the house!! She never cleaned her room even when she was told to do so. After she left for college, we found her bloodied underwear under her bed as we cleaned the room out... As for Bob Jones she chose to go there and graduate early from HS, because of being a religious college. She can say all the bad things about there but she would park in handicap spaces which she was not allowed to do, hit a driver that she denied in which we had to settle and pay out of our pocket to fix that students car. Eventually she was told to park outside of the campus, and was no longer allowed to drive on campus anymore. We received a call from the college numerous times explaining all of it to include not following dorm policies which included not keeping her room clean and sanitary. Numerous students complained about her poor hygene and failure to follow their dorm policies. They after speaking with us on multiple occasions and her not following policies was enough for her being dismissed from the college which I still have all the paperwork from when it happened.. All she has done was disrespect her late mom and myself with all these false accusations from her lies that she has told so many people how bad she was treated. She was disciplined like any other child who didn't follow home instructions... She chose to rebel against us and we were accused of issues that were unfounded by CPS by her and the HS she attended... The HS counselor who was fired, the band teacher who she chose to converse with thru text messages and phone calls, and the school principal for false reporting.. I have all those letters too... We even had a meeting with the superintendent who I also have an apology letter from. So Beth I may or may not know who you are but I have all the letters and proof.... Don't let her fake you out with the lies that she continues to tell people about myself and my late wife....
ReplyDeleteSo there is the real never ending battle from Kimberly Ann L. in real words and I have the proof... If she continues to post false BS and tell me to F You I'll copy and post every letter from the HS, Superintendent, and Bob Jones University to prove that she is the fake and we were not.... Her Doc's need to understand her real side which at this point they only hear one side and not the actual truth... I guess they must be money hungry!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of father would say those things to his daughter? You don't deserve the title of "father". It seems to me like you just have a problem with control. She's a whole separate person from you and I'm glad she is who she is despite how you've treated her. And you can post all the letters you want, it won't change a single thing about how I think of her. You're just a manipulative abusive asshole and you deserved every word she said about you!
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ReplyDeleteThe person who gave Kimberly life only to suck the life out of an innocent girl her whole childhood. You claim you didn’t abuse her but your comments are abusive themselves, suggesting there has been more abuse that went unreported because you threatened a law suit. Now why would you threaten a law suit if you didn’t have anything to hide? You’ve always known the allegations were true but made Kimberly out to be a manipulative liar even at Bob Jones. And Bob Jones was just as abusive to Kimberly as you were so no I’m not going to believe shit you or they tell me. You know what Kimberly actually is? She is intelligent. She is productive. She is an overcomer. She is so kind and compassionate that she would NEVER talk to anyone the way you talk to her. You are the manipulative liar. You cut her down with lies like some sociopath. I’m so glad that I don’t know you. I wouldn’t want you in my life even for a billion dollars. You are a complete asshole who shows no love or respect for your own daughter, so you do not deserve respect or the benefit of the doubt. Every time you come in her cutting her down, I will lift her up and slam you to the ground. Going so low as to blame what the dog did as her fault? Newsflash: everything is NOT her fault. It’s probably yours. And the fact that she got out of bed, excelled at school, made sure your whole house was clean (something a child should not be fully responsible for), and put up with your abusive ass... despite being so depressed she was suicidal (since childhood!) shows incredible strength and responsibility. And you did not even let her go to therapy. And know what, say some more bullshit. I know the truth. Her friends (who are more of a family to her than any of y’all) know the truth. Her therapist and her psychiatrist know the truth. She is seeking help and support and getting it. She is ROCKING at life (no thanks to you) and I am so proud to know her and be in her life. She is always growing in every way. She is doing great at grad school and working two jobs. She is so successful, and I don’t know how she did it with her upbringing. You should be a proud dad praising your daughter for her successes. Instead you are a deranged old man who will die alone and maybe go to hell and get tormented more than you tormented your daughter her whole life. So back off, mother fucker! Go be an ass somewhere else.